--"Ego is like your Branded Clothes...., It is Important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it...!!"
--"I Have Learned To Give, Not Because I Have Too Much, But Because I Knew The Feeling of Not Having"
--Having a good laugh with a friend like you stimulates endorphins, the brain’s natural painkillers. So, if you need to laugh and you can’t find a friend like yourself, I can lend you my mirror.
--Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.
--A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
--A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
--A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B: That's impossible. Whose baby?
A: An elephant's.
--When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"
However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
--A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.
He looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the sun or the moon?"
The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."
--A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
B: Yes, of course.
A: Great! I never could before!
--People often enjoy joking about love and marriage.
Here is a joke about the first three years of marriage.
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Now let's listen to a couple of riddles about marriage.
Here's the first one.
Q: Why are men with pierced ears better suited for marriage?
A: Because they have suffered and bought jewelry.
Here's another riddle.
Q: What are the 3 important rings in life?
A: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
I'll end today's podcast with a humorous proverb-like saying.
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.